I have a lot of queer friends. Lots. That just occurred to me today. I started wondering why while watching a neat panel on non-binary sexuality (this thing).
It's not a conscious decision. I didn't sit up one day and declare that I would "have more queer friends" like I was collecting pogs. I don't introduce people as "my gay friend" in a failed effort to be topical and cool. So why? I'm boringly heterosexual, so it's not out of a hope of getting additional action.
That means it has something to do with the queer personality. Something about self-defined people syncs with some portion of my psyche.
(As a brief aside, I think I prefer queer as a term, as it includes the often ignored people in the middle who are bisexual, or who switch from one fascination to another throughout their lives.)
So what is it about the queer mindset that resonates with me? It's probably just the fact that many labelled by one of the alphabet-soup LGBTTSPDQXYZ letters have learnt to take people for what they are. They're less judgemental, in most cases. More open to discussion and debate. Those are people I prefer to hang around with.
Don't take that as a rule in all cases, though. People, regardless of sexuality, can be morons. I've met gays as homophobic as any evangelical preacher where bisexuals were concerned; "They're just fake gay, they need to choose a side" and other such high-hat bullshit. I've heard gay men damn another for "not being gay enough". There are always idiots.
It may be that queer life experience forces most people to examine themselves, their beliefs and their drives with attention and effort. There's no cultural matrix for them, so they have to work it out on their own. That may be the real secret - that I best relate with people who actively examine their own persona. People who ask "why do I" and "why am I" rather than just taking the stock explanations provided by their peers.
Also, there's the general contempt I feel for anyone who tries to dehumanize another person for something as silly as who they are in bed with, or what clothes they wear, or what music they listen to. That's a common failing among the ignorant herdbeasts that wander the world; hating a person rather than hating their music/dress/sexuality/politics/religion. I'm perfectly capable of hating your choice in music but still liking you. I may think that your partner, of whatever sex, is an absolute asshat, but that you're okay. I probably think your religious beliefs are a laughable set of self-delusions, but you are a nice person.
Part of being a well-rounded human being is the ability to understand that the world is complex, with things you like and things you don't. Part of being an adult is to realize that your opinions don't matter to anyone but yourself, so investing your very being in them is a stupid move. Another, often ignored part, is to be able to shrug off the ridiculous opinions of others.
Especially reviewers and militant evangelists of whatever faith.
That's too much thinking for a Friday. Cheers all, see you this weekend.
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