Sorry or the slowness of the update, but I'm stumbling through an interesting spring involving exploded hard drives, new full-time jobs and graduating children. On the plus side I've got the tickle of a really exciting and probably over-involved project. I'll just blame Mervyn Peake for it and not expand past that. Some of you will know what I'm on about, as it's his thematic concerns that attract me the most.
That little, cowardly portion of my brain is nagging at me that this is an unsalable novel idea, but screw that noise. This is the book I really want to write, despite the time and anguish it will inflict, despite the fact that the form is one rarely used any more, and despite the fact that it's likely to be ridiculously involved.
Writing has to be love, and I love what I'm thinking about.
Saturday, 25 May 2013
Friday, 10 May 2013
I hate technology
Not really, but bad news. My laptop's hard drive is now a briquette, so we're going to suffer a hiatus while I get another computer and reclaim my work from the cloud and the bad drive. On the plus side I very recently did full backups, both to the cloud and DVD.
DO THIS OFTEN. That is all.
DO THIS OFTEN. That is all.
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Glassholes ahoy
Google Glass. No. Seriously, no. Please don't. Sergey Brin looks like crap in them, and so will you.
We don't need or want yet another unnecessary piece of hardware that does what a cell phone does, and makes us look like a moron at the same time. Besides, why pay $1500 for something that begs for a mugging? Something that will be outlawed in cars before you can say "distracted driving"? Something that sits on your face like a lopsided tumor?
It doesn't make you a cyborg. It makes you a dork, and hat's coming from a self-admitted nerd and geek of the old school. Think of the children. Just say "no" to Google Glass.
(And, by the way, the first Glass wearer at a neighboring urinal who turns their head to televise my junk will, shortly thereafter, be broadcasting the view from inside their own rectum. Caveat emptor.)
Monday, 6 May 2013
Free Book Dude editorial
Observations on publishing avenues, and what they have to offer for both authors and readers over at Free Book Dude. Stop in.
http://www.freebookdude.com/2013/05/getting-it-out-there-guest-post-from.html
http://www.freebookdude.com/2013/05/getting-it-out-there-guest-post-from.html
Sunday, 5 May 2013
The experiment, she is launched
That post headline should be read in a bad Mandy Patinkin Princess Bride-style voice. But yes, Side Effects is up and running. Now I'll just have to adhere to my weekly chapter updates and hope you, the reader, like what you see and tell others.
It's a bit nerve-wracking to release content free and hope the little "donate" button does something, but I know how often I've clicked them on things I liked, so we'll see.
There will be an edited final version of the book after the serial wraps. I may have to figure out a way to track major backers. I think they'll all deserve a final edition.
Cheers, and keep smiling!
It's a bit nerve-wracking to release content free and hope the little "donate" button does something, but I know how often I've clicked them on things I liked, so we'll see.
There will be an edited final version of the book after the serial wraps. I may have to figure out a way to track major backers. I think they'll all deserve a final edition.
Cheers, and keep smiling!
Saturday, 4 May 2013
Side Effects: Sex, drugs and espionage
Side Effects is up at Oh-dark-thirty. So check just after midnight over at http://sideeffectsnovel.blogspot.ca/ and, assuming the auto update doesn't blow up, you will be able to read the first exciting chapter of many.
Enjoy, comment, Tweet and all that.
Enjoy, comment, Tweet and all that.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Queer eye for the writer guy
I have a lot of queer friends. Lots. That just occurred to me today. I started wondering why while watching a neat panel on non-binary sexuality (this thing).
It's not a conscious decision. I didn't sit up one day and declare that I would "have more queer friends" like I was collecting pogs. I don't introduce people as "my gay friend" in a failed effort to be topical and cool. So why? I'm boringly heterosexual, so it's not out of a hope of getting additional action.
That means it has something to do with the queer personality. Something about self-defined people syncs with some portion of my psyche.
(As a brief aside, I think I prefer queer as a term, as it includes the often ignored people in the middle who are bisexual, or who switch from one fascination to another throughout their lives.)
So what is it about the queer mindset that resonates with me? It's probably just the fact that many labelled by one of the alphabet-soup LGBTTSPDQXYZ letters have learnt to take people for what they are. They're less judgemental, in most cases. More open to discussion and debate. Those are people I prefer to hang around with.
Don't take that as a rule in all cases, though. People, regardless of sexuality, can be morons. I've met gays as homophobic as any evangelical preacher where bisexuals were concerned; "They're just fake gay, they need to choose a side" and other such high-hat bullshit. I've heard gay men damn another for "not being gay enough". There are always idiots.
It may be that queer life experience forces most people to examine themselves, their beliefs and their drives with attention and effort. There's no cultural matrix for them, so they have to work it out on their own. That may be the real secret - that I best relate with people who actively examine their own persona. People who ask "why do I" and "why am I" rather than just taking the stock explanations provided by their peers.
Also, there's the general contempt I feel for anyone who tries to dehumanize another person for something as silly as who they are in bed with, or what clothes they wear, or what music they listen to. That's a common failing among the ignorant herdbeasts that wander the world; hating a person rather than hating their music/dress/sexuality/politics/religion. I'm perfectly capable of hating your choice in music but still liking you. I may think that your partner, of whatever sex, is an absolute asshat, but that you're okay. I probably think your religious beliefs are a laughable set of self-delusions, but you are a nice person.
Part of being a well-rounded human being is the ability to understand that the world is complex, with things you like and things you don't. Part of being an adult is to realize that your opinions don't matter to anyone but yourself, so investing your very being in them is a stupid move. Another, often ignored part, is to be able to shrug off the ridiculous opinions of others.
Especially reviewers and militant evangelists of whatever faith.
That's too much thinking for a Friday. Cheers all, see you this weekend.
It's not a conscious decision. I didn't sit up one day and declare that I would "have more queer friends" like I was collecting pogs. I don't introduce people as "my gay friend" in a failed effort to be topical and cool. So why? I'm boringly heterosexual, so it's not out of a hope of getting additional action.
That means it has something to do with the queer personality. Something about self-defined people syncs with some portion of my psyche.
(As a brief aside, I think I prefer queer as a term, as it includes the often ignored people in the middle who are bisexual, or who switch from one fascination to another throughout their lives.)
So what is it about the queer mindset that resonates with me? It's probably just the fact that many labelled by one of the alphabet-soup LGBTTSPDQXYZ letters have learnt to take people for what they are. They're less judgemental, in most cases. More open to discussion and debate. Those are people I prefer to hang around with.
Don't take that as a rule in all cases, though. People, regardless of sexuality, can be morons. I've met gays as homophobic as any evangelical preacher where bisexuals were concerned; "They're just fake gay, they need to choose a side" and other such high-hat bullshit. I've heard gay men damn another for "not being gay enough". There are always idiots.
It may be that queer life experience forces most people to examine themselves, their beliefs and their drives with attention and effort. There's no cultural matrix for them, so they have to work it out on their own. That may be the real secret - that I best relate with people who actively examine their own persona. People who ask "why do I" and "why am I" rather than just taking the stock explanations provided by their peers.
Also, there's the general contempt I feel for anyone who tries to dehumanize another person for something as silly as who they are in bed with, or what clothes they wear, or what music they listen to. That's a common failing among the ignorant herdbeasts that wander the world; hating a person rather than hating their music/dress/sexuality/politics/religion. I'm perfectly capable of hating your choice in music but still liking you. I may think that your partner, of whatever sex, is an absolute asshat, but that you're okay. I probably think your religious beliefs are a laughable set of self-delusions, but you are a nice person.
Part of being a well-rounded human being is the ability to understand that the world is complex, with things you like and things you don't. Part of being an adult is to realize that your opinions don't matter to anyone but yourself, so investing your very being in them is a stupid move. Another, often ignored part, is to be able to shrug off the ridiculous opinions of others.
Especially reviewers and militant evangelists of whatever faith.
That's too much thinking for a Friday. Cheers all, see you this weekend.
Thursday, 2 May 2013
Writer bread and recipe
Yes, sometimes it's better to bake than edit. At the end of an hour your accomplishment is far easier to weigh and, more importantly, smell and taste. So here's some bread. It's good bread. The recipe is below. Do yourself a favour and don't use a bread maker. There's a reason bakers use ovens.
Writer Bread*
2 cups hot water
add 1 tablespoon yeast and a spoon of brown sugar
stir. Watch for a second, make sure the yeast is working (it'll make bubbles). Add a pinch of salt, a tablespoon of olive oil, stir.
Stir in 3 cups flour for about 2 minutes.
Add 2 more cups of flour, knead the mess for 10 minutes until it's a smooth, rubbery dough.
Oil the lump, stick it in a covered bowl in a warm place until it doubles.
Punch the dough down, then halve it and make 2 loaves. Lightly brush with oil. Drop them on a floured baking sheet, slit the tops, dust with rosemary and garlic powder and a pinch of salt. Let it rise again.
Bake in a 375f oven for 20-30 minutes, pull them when they reach the desired brown-ness.
Let them rest an hour.
Be a pig and eat them.
*Okay, it's really just french bread.
If you thought Stalingrad was bad
American forefathers (or more accurately -mothers) had a rough time at Jamestown in 1609. The Smithsonian just dug up solid forensic evidence that the settlers ate a 14-year-old English girl to survive.
The winter of 1609 was a bad one and the settlers were on the verge of disaster. It's generally known as the Starving Time. Cannibalism has long been suspected, but the bones recently found are the first irrefutable evidence. Of 500 colonists, 440 starved to death. Imagining the horrified survivors watching the spring thaw finally arrive is almost beyond imagination. Almost, I say, because the evil writer portion of my brain is busily pondering a short story even as I write this.
The story is a stunningly impressive one, with Captain John Smith forging a ceasefire with the aggressive Powhatan Confederacy of tribes, and managing to organize a trading agreement that allowed the colony to purchase the food it needed to survive. Then fate intervened, with Smith being evacuated to England following a serious injury and the tribes deciding that, without Smith, the treaty was off. The settlers were left starving, at war, and six months from the possibility of rescue in the midst of an unusually brutal winter. Most of the men were dead, killed by the tribes as they foraged, leaving the elderly, women and children to struggle to survive.
If you pitched it as a movie plot people would accuse you of being unrealistically grim. All the greatest dramas exist in history. I wish we taught more of that particular subject to our young. Or did it better.
The winter of 1609 was a bad one and the settlers were on the verge of disaster. It's generally known as the Starving Time. Cannibalism has long been suspected, but the bones recently found are the first irrefutable evidence. Of 500 colonists, 440 starved to death. Imagining the horrified survivors watching the spring thaw finally arrive is almost beyond imagination. Almost, I say, because the evil writer portion of my brain is busily pondering a short story even as I write this.
The story is a stunningly impressive one, with Captain John Smith forging a ceasefire with the aggressive Powhatan Confederacy of tribes, and managing to organize a trading agreement that allowed the colony to purchase the food it needed to survive. Then fate intervened, with Smith being evacuated to England following a serious injury and the tribes deciding that, without Smith, the treaty was off. The settlers were left starving, at war, and six months from the possibility of rescue in the midst of an unusually brutal winter. Most of the men were dead, killed by the tribes as they foraged, leaving the elderly, women and children to struggle to survive.
If you pitched it as a movie plot people would accuse you of being unrealistically grim. All the greatest dramas exist in history. I wish we taught more of that particular subject to our young. Or did it better.
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
KDP Select? Naw
Yes, definitely dropping Behind the Ruins from KDP Select as of June 24. It's too limiting to be beholden to Amazon, with no access to Nook, Kobo, or other platforms like Screwpulp and Smashwords. The only bit of KDP that really annoys me horribly is that I have to let the 90-day enrollment run out. I suppose I could be a dick and just ignore Amazon's ToS, which would get it out quicker.
Hmmm. I think I'll go examine that option. I'll update what I discover.
Update: Well, on looking, it's unclear what repercussions that would have, other than Amazon deciding not to carry it in the main lists. Probably best left alone.
Oh! If you have a book in KDP Select be damn sure to go in and click off auto-renew or it'll be there forever. They've made sure it defaults to "we have your book in perpetuity" unless you pay attention.
It feels a bit greasy to me. I think Tokyo Pizza will opt out as well. Exclusivity isn't a good thing.
Hmmm. I think I'll go examine that option. I'll update what I discover.
Update: Well, on looking, it's unclear what repercussions that would have, other than Amazon deciding not to carry it in the main lists. Probably best left alone.
Oh! If you have a book in KDP Select be damn sure to go in and click off auto-renew or it'll be there forever. They've made sure it defaults to "we have your book in perpetuity" unless you pay attention.
It feels a bit greasy to me. I think Tokyo Pizza will opt out as well. Exclusivity isn't a good thing.
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
The donate button and Side Effects
You'll note a donate button over on the right-hand sidebar. That button is the start of something interesting. At the moment it's intended as a way to keep enough food in me to allow for writing to continue. Shorty, though, it's going to be a way to pay what you think things are worth.
That's right, I'm going to trust you, reader, to pay what you think stories and books are worth that you download free here on the site.
This will take a bit of time and thought on my part, but expect to see changes through the spring and summer. The first project that will use the button exclusively is a serialized novel-length sequel to the NaNoWriWee shortlister Tokyo Pizza currently entitled Side Effects (which has its own blog now). Having a pop-culture satirical adventure yarn come out in discrete chunks isn't a new thought. It really hearkens back to the days of radio drama, but it is a new thing for me.
I'm excited by the concept, but to make it work I'll have to make sure the wide world of the internet comes and reads and has fun. I'll also have to stick to a tough self-imposed writing schedule. The best way to make sure it works is simple. If you like it, and enjoy the stories, then share them with others. Tweet it, craft a short blog post, tell your friends at the pub.
It's the wild wild west of publishing these days. Let's ignore the rules and make it fun.
That's right, I'm going to trust you, reader, to pay what you think stories and books are worth that you download free here on the site.
This will take a bit of time and thought on my part, but expect to see changes through the spring and summer. The first project that will use the button exclusively is a serialized novel-length sequel to the NaNoWriWee shortlister Tokyo Pizza currently entitled Side Effects (which has its own blog now). Having a pop-culture satirical adventure yarn come out in discrete chunks isn't a new thought. It really hearkens back to the days of radio drama, but it is a new thing for me.
I'm excited by the concept, but to make it work I'll have to make sure the wide world of the internet comes and reads and has fun. I'll also have to stick to a tough self-imposed writing schedule. The best way to make sure it works is simple. If you like it, and enjoy the stories, then share them with others. Tweet it, craft a short blog post, tell your friends at the pub.
It's the wild wild west of publishing these days. Let's ignore the rules and make it fun.
Trolling Ghana
Yes, I'm one of those guys. When the email scammers send me notes, I have to try and troll them back. Today's was from Mr. Edward Effah the Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer of Fidelity Bank in Ghana.
He has a terrible issue with $13.5 million that he'd like my help with, and wanted my information. It's confidential, so I can't go into details. I decided to send him my own plan:
I don't know why the idea of trolling some Ghana gangster amuses me, but it does. Besides, I'm curious to see if they're dumb enough to respond to a morphed version of their own horridly stupid shit.
I am easily amused.
He has a terrible issue with $13.5 million that he'd like my help with, and wanted my information. It's confidential, so I can't go into details. I decided to send him my own plan:
I have a counterproposal. In order to show your good faith and prove the reality of your claims, you can show the truth of your proposal by depositing a "good faith" amount of $10,000.00 (US$) into a PayPal account I will specify. The deposit will be returned to you upon the completion of your proposed arrangement, and will be lost should you fail to complete the arrangement.
As a first step, please supply the following:
1) A scanned copy of your personal photo identification
2) Your physical address
3) A non-Webmail email address
4) Your PayPal account name for the return of the deposit
Thank you
I don't know why the idea of trolling some Ghana gangster amuses me, but it does. Besides, I'm curious to see if they're dumb enough to respond to a morphed version of their own horridly stupid shit.
I am easily amused.
Monday, 29 April 2013
Amazon and free books
This last six weeks has been an experimental period, during
which I attempted to assess the usefulness of the Kindle Select option through
Amazon. Some of the vote is still out, but early returns are in.
For those not familiar with the program, Amazon gives you
the option to enter a book into the Select program, so long as you agree that
you will not sell it through any other platform. What they give you in return is
5 days in a three-month period during which you may give away the book for free
as a promotion.
That’s it, really.
The results thus far appear to be largely ineffective.
Reviews are difficult to quantify, but I suspect I’m seeing one review per
500-1000 downloads. That’s unsatisfying, as reviews were really the only reason
I’d been interested in the program. I won’t say I was surprised. I suspect that
the vast majority of books downloaded for free are never read at all. People
just like to grab free things; it’s a monkey-brain reflex. You also run the
risk of people who really don’t like your genre reviewing you because it was
free – they’d never have downloaded your space opera, otherwise, and didn’t like
all the starships, etc.
So is it worthwhile? No, I don’t think so, but the
experiment isn’t quite over. I think I preferred to run my promotions using Smashwords
coupons for reviewers, contest winners and the like.
In the end, we all value things relative to what we paid for
them; this is why the wealthy extoll Ferrari rather than Ford. I suspect that
mass free promotions devalue the quality of a writer’s work in the mind of the reader,
consciously or unconsciously. I don’t think they’re nearly as valuable as
Amazon would have us believe.
Thoughts? Leave a comment!
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Autotweets, how I hate thee
You know those half-dozen tweets you send out every day? The boring ones that fill the spaces between the tweets about your cat or what Fox News/CNN just said in defiance of known fact?
Wouldn't it be nice to just put those on a timer so you could write and deal with those "important" tweets? Well, don't look at Dripita for that. I've had nothing but trouble with that particular app.
It's not like I've asked it to do much. One tweet every six hours from a rotating list seems like an easy enough task, but Dripita squeezes one out, then stops, unable to continue on. Or, more rarely, it kicks out two or three in a little, acidic clump - like those last three tequila shooters you just knew were a bad idea.
Hateful thing.
Does anyone know of a happier app? One that maybe, you know, works?
Wouldn't it be nice to just put those on a timer so you could write and deal with those "important" tweets? Well, don't look at Dripita for that. I've had nothing but trouble with that particular app.
It's not like I've asked it to do much. One tweet every six hours from a rotating list seems like an easy enough task, but Dripita squeezes one out, then stops, unable to continue on. Or, more rarely, it kicks out two or three in a little, acidic clump - like those last three tequila shooters you just knew were a bad idea.
Hateful thing.
Does anyone know of a happier app? One that maybe, you know, works?
Friday, 26 April 2013
Tokyo Pizza FREE this weekend. Get your reading freak on.
This is your chance to see why Pizza was a shortlisted finalist in HarperCollin's 30-hour Novel competition.
Tokyo Pizza. It tastes a little different.
http://www.amazon.com/Tokyo-Pizza-ebook/dp/B00C7IHSX0
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Shadowrun Returns - gaming nerdgasm
An unsolicited squeal of glee for Shadowrun Returns. We'll be seeing it very shortly, and anyone who remembers the great cyberpunk-meets-fantasy pen-and-paper roleplaying game should drop by the Harebrained Schemes website and poke around.I've loved the setting since FASA (R.I.P.) brought it out, and it's nice to see the guys managed to float a successful kickstarter and make this game happen.
For those who have no idea what I'm on about, Shadowrun is a SF/fantasy alternate near-future setting where your elite computer hacking black-ops specialist might be an elf, and your heavy weapons thug could be a troll, with the heat of the action occuring in a very different, yet oddly familiar, Seattle.
It's a LOT of fun.
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Stone Sky teaser
Just a first-draft bit of one of the two novels I currently have underway. It's a fantasy piece, but not the standard sort. No dragons, unicorns or zombies. This is copyright Michael Lane 2013.
Verrin sat on the stone bench outside the Westarch barracks and watched three casteless youths beating an older scavenger with silent, bloody-minded attention.
The trio were doing a job of it. Two held the target’s arms, while the third, a sallow-faced dwarf with a short, forked blonde beard, hammered at the victim’s face with a fist slick with blood. They’d run him down in the street, sandals clattering, just as Verrin had gotten comfortable.
The barracks’ iron gate squealed open and Verrin glanced to his left. Another dwarf, clad in mail identical to his, took a few steps into the street and stopped, staring at the fight.
"Kolosh," Verrin called. The newcomer glanced over, offering a sketchy salute and walking over to take a seat on the bench.
Verrin sat on the stone bench outside the Westarch barracks and watched three casteless youths beating an older scavenger with silent, bloody-minded attention.
The trio were doing a job of it. Two held the target’s arms, while the third, a sallow-faced dwarf with a short, forked blonde beard, hammered at the victim’s face with a fist slick with blood. They’d run him down in the street, sandals clattering, just as Verrin had gotten comfortable.
The barracks’ iron gate squealed open and Verrin glanced to his left. Another dwarf, clad in mail identical to his, took a few steps into the street and stopped, staring at the fight.
"Kolosh," Verrin called. The newcomer glanced over, offering a sketchy salute and walking over to take a seat on the bench.
From the future-past
Anyone with an interest in radio shows or experimental entertainment should check out "Found in the elevator" here. I didn't find it - William Gibson tweeted about it and Wil Wheaton posted about it on his blog this week, which you should also go read.
It's fascinating and reminds me of why I go on old radio drama binges. It's basically a message from the future found sans explanation in our present. It has a strange 70s scifi feel that I like. Something like Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and THX1138 crossed with Brazil.
It's fascinating and reminds me of why I go on old radio drama binges. It's basically a message from the future found sans explanation in our present. It has a strange 70s scifi feel that I like. Something like Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and THX1138 crossed with Brazil.
Tuesday, 23 April 2013
Strip Search
It's not like the lumbering internet colossus that is Penny Arcade really needs my help, but I have to point people to their oddball
reality show Strip Search, in which a group of aspiring web comic artists
battle for cash and a slot in the Penny Arcade machine for a year.
I’m not big fan of a lot of “reality” shows. I will watch
the occasional Hell’s Kitchen episode because I like to see Ramsay’s face go
red, and I like feeling that I can cook better than half his wannabe chefs. Strip
Search is a different sort of deal, or has been thus far.
Contestants are likable, for starters. They haven’t
descended into the usual metagaming backstabbery that forms the grist of most
reality TV, and if that reduces drama, it increases the emotional weight of the
eliminations. You want ALL these people to win. That’s a neat trick, and one
the “real” reality genre might want to take note of.
Additionally, challenges are interesting and thus far tie in
well to the skills a web comic author needs. So far they’ve avoided having
contestants bob for hand grenades or chase greased Vietnamese pigs in a
Wal-Mart parking lot. Instead, they draw, market, and deal with Twitter trolls.
PA creators Mike Krahulic and Jerry Holkins are amusing as
the bastard offspring of Simon Cowell and a Labyrinth goblin, and eliminations
are lightened by their transparent attempts to throw competitors off their
game. And, my god, the smoothie. Anyone who’s watched knows what I’m on about.
Holkins, you are a terrifying force for random ingestion. Robert Khoo does a
fine job wearing his Producer’s hat, as well.
So go waste some time. Watch the first few – it gains speed
and sucks you in by the fourth instalment – and see what a reality show can be
in a world where people aren’t scripted.
Monday, 22 April 2013
Omnibus angst
I read a lot of omnibus editions.
Three book series and the like tend to be handier for shelving as a single volume, and I usually fall prey to the nice new covers while wandering through the bookstore, so I buy them.
They're great, until you get home and are reading one in bed, where, let's be honest, most reading is done. You crack open your mammoth tome, wriggle into the pillow, and find yourself spending the next half-hour trying to discover a comfortble way to hold eight pounds of wood pulp in a position that doesn't kill your wrist, smother you or mangle oversized trade pages. If you are sleeping next to someone else, they'll likely not be impressed by the light or the constant crackling of paper and mumbled curses.
I like the smell and feel of a book. I like it a lot. But I'm beginning to think the e-reader is edging it with its sheer convenience.
And they tend to be under a pound.
Three book series and the like tend to be handier for shelving as a single volume, and I usually fall prey to the nice new covers while wandering through the bookstore, so I buy them.
They're great, until you get home and are reading one in bed, where, let's be honest, most reading is done. You crack open your mammoth tome, wriggle into the pillow, and find yourself spending the next half-hour trying to discover a comfortble way to hold eight pounds of wood pulp in a position that doesn't kill your wrist, smother you or mangle oversized trade pages. If you are sleeping next to someone else, they'll likely not be impressed by the light or the constant crackling of paper and mumbled curses.
I like the smell and feel of a book. I like it a lot. But I'm beginning to think the e-reader is edging it with its sheer convenience.
And they tend to be under a pound.
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